I’m not exactly sure what it is about me, but I just have not been able to bring myself to write this update. It’s almost like a subconscious rebellion… We’ve known this day would come since we were in the NICU in Ohio… We thought it would come last year… And yet, the fact that it is finally time for the MOST major surgery/medical procedure in a series of major medical procedures is just a bit surreal. As of this moment, May 7th is Go Day. Just a dude and his dog :) This post will be pretty factual as I am still processing a lot of my own emotions. At the same time, I am humbled and thankful to my core for the army of people who have and continue to love and pray for Nathan and our family. There is only one path ahead for my son, for my heart, for our family. In light of that, we want to share and ask for your prayers. On May 7th, Nay will have a RED device installed into/onto his face. RED stands for Rigid External Dist...
This was one of those weeks where time was elusive as it simultaneously crept along and caught us up in a whirled. The Timeline Monday morning, May 6th, I awakened early and read a devotional entitled, “Do the Next Thing.” It perfectly resonated with my paradoxical emotions. I dreaded the 7th, I wanted to hurry up and get to the 7th, most of all, I desperately wanted to be on the other side of the 7th with my son in my arms. May 7th was so intense. In God’s mercy, Nathan was as cool as a cucumber, and the four of us had a small posse with us in the waiting room along with a swarm of texts, pictures, etc. of friends in red, bible verses, prayers and well wishes. To say we were being upheld is an understatement. The surgery was supposed to be about 5.5 hours, and we got the typical text updates the first few hours. When Jonny’s phone rang with a call from the O.R. after just over 3 hours, the conversations around me faded to the margi...
Some memories are sharper than others… February 9th, 2014 was my 29th birthday and Nathan was in the middle of a 7 consecutive week run in the ICU, for most of which he was intubated. About 80% of his 4 months had been spent in hospitals and he had already undergone several surgeries of increasing intensity. This stay was, quite literally, a fight for his life and the questions about quality of life were (understandably and appropriately) met by Dr’s with vague answers, no promises and even uncomfortable and compassionate murmurs of “IF he makes it past 2….” That year, my birthday fell on a snowy Sunday. I remember waking that morning and staring blankly out of the ICU window into the thick, cold, grey, relentless snow of an Ohio February. The only thing more bleak was my heart as I called Jonny, cried and then let him go so that he could take care of Madison (not yet two) and then get to church…. It was, after all, a Sunday. I’m not sure ...
oh my goodness, she is so cute and tiny!!! so fun to actually see her "in action" :)
ReplyDeletethanks marn-marn!
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteI just love your little girl!
ReplyDelete