It's a Slow Go...

Family and Friends,

Thanks for your continued prayers and care for Nathan.  Here is the update of the day:

Medically:
He has actually had some not-so-great days since the last update.  He is now getting a little more oxygen help and the ventilator is doing all of his breathing for him.  It has been tricky to find the right balance of meds to keep him sedated well enough without totally taking away all of his wanting to breathe on his own...  The doctors are now treating him for a reactive airway disease (like Asthma, etc.)  While they are still unsure as to what the culprit is that made his respiratory system go haywire (doesn't seem to have been a virus, could have been that fluid got into his lungs when he threw up last Monday) the bottom line is that his system responded really strongly.  His lungs are being suctioned every hour and there still seems to be a lot of fluid there...  he is now on antibiotics to help treat a bacterial infection.

Another important piece of the day is that they put a feeding tube (NJ) back in.  As some of you may know/remember, this is the same kind of feeding tube that they put in during our two week stay in November - it goes past his stomach, through his pylorus and then empties straight into his small intestine.  The background here is that his pylorus (the valve that connects the stomach to the small intestine) is not only narrowed but has a mass/obstruction/possible duplication on it.  This kind of duplication is one of the most rare.  Anyhow, we knew we would have to keep monitoring this before we tried to introduce any solid foods (hoping that as his valve grew larger, the mass wouldn't and it would become a non-issue.) but the difficulty of pushing his tube through it today may be an indication that his pylorus is still a problem.  The plan is to get the respiratory system better and then run some tests to determine what's going on with the pylorus.

Emotionally:
One of the hardest things right now is the fact that we haven't been able to hold Nathan since last Tuesday.  Not only that but the last day or two we have barely been able to touch him much as they were working hard to get his sedation levels right.  It's beyond difficult to watch your 3.5 month old lay in a bed, basically paralyzed and totally out of it, with a breathing tube down his mouth for days on end.  I miss his little eyeballs... 

A close family friend stayed with Nathan in the hospital last night, which was a gift.

A friend sent these verses today from Psalm 28 which I have been meditating on a lot, thinking of how even though my circumstances are incredibly difficult they aren't really what I need to be saved from.  What I need to be saved from are things like disappointment, despair and fear.  And it is exactly from those things that Christ died to save me!  My prayer a million times today has been that when my mind starts to wander, He will remind me of the hope he literally died for me to have.  Hope that is eternal, that will not fade and that cannot be shaken because it is in the ONE who always has been,  and always will be; the ONE who is mighty to save, and the ONE who is for me in the deepest and truest way.

"The Lord is the Strength of his people; He is the saving refuge of His anointed.  Oh save your people...be their shepherd and carry them forever."  

Psalm 28:8-9