These Hands and Feet I Have Loved...

There is no chapter in What to Expect the First Year that can prepare a mother’s heart for a moment like this. 

These hands. 





And these feet.

• These are the hands and feet that I began to love on March 3, 2013 when we found out I was pregnant. 

• These are the hands and feet that grew inside my body when I had know idea that a FGFR2 gene even existed, much less that one little mutation which caused an amino acid to be changed on one little position...  could change so much.

• These are the hands and feet that pushed and poked as they stretched out my body.  They tricked me, these hands and feet.  “This kid is all knees and elbows!” I would declare to his dad.  Never did I imagine that those “elbows” were the tips of these hands and feet. Try I might, I never could feel the flat palms of these hands or feet like I had with my first baby.

• These are the hands and feet that stole. my. breathe. in the longest seconds of my life.

• These are the hands and feet that turned a delivery room silent.

• These are the hands and feet that I kissed for a few precious moments while the tears stung my wide open eyes and my mind raced down more paths than I ever knew imaginable.

• These are the hands and feet that left me alone in my hospital room for the night just moments after delivery as they were rushed across town.

• These are the hands feet that brought all four grandparents to our side within hours.

• These are the hands and feet that have inaugurated me into a sorority of beautiful warriors; a sorority that no one wants to join - Moms of Kids with a Disability.

• These are the hands and feet that I have grieved and mourned.

• These are the hands and feet that I have tickled and kissed.

• These are the hands and feet that have caused me to relinquish dreams and expectations.

• These are the hands and feet that have astounded and amazed me as they show me what they can do.

• These are the hands and feet that have had me weeping with family and close friends.

• These are the hands and feet that have made compassionate acquaintances and strangers become dear.

• These are the hands and feet that have flipped my world on it’s head and left me spinning.

• These are the hands and feet that have catapulted the roots of my faith in Jesus Christ deep.

• These are the hands and feet that have changed me in ways I can feel but not articulate.

• These are the hands and feet that have shaped, directed or influenced my every moment of every day since October 20th.

• These are the hands and feet of the broken little body that has needed to be in a hospital for too many weeks.

• These are the hands and feet that have taught me and reminded me to be thankful for each moment.

• These are the hands and feet that I have surrendered. 

These are not the hands and feet that I asked for, hoped for, prayed for or expected. 


But these.

These are the hands and feet I have loved.